i'm a sex machine.

the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

2010-01-06T11:56:00.004+08:00

I know it's only going to be three months.
But it hurts so badly.
I miss my best friends.
I see them everyday.
I talk to them everyday.
Then all of a sudden everything just change.
I know I am suppose to be strong for them.
I know I am not suppose to cry anymore.
But the tears wouldn't stop flowing.
Everything around me reminds me of them.
Everything just links.
Even in my dreams, I see them.
I don't want to celebrate my birthday anymore.
I know I won't have fun.
My other best friends are still around.
They have been angels to be with me ever since valerie and chinlee have been gone.
But still I miss my them so much.
All I could ask for as a birthday present this year is to see them.

I know the pictures were about two years ago.
But it was all the memories we had and still remain in our hearts.
No one can have them and no one can take them away from us.

still the same.

2009-11-30T16:51:00.003+08:00

You ain't gonna change?
Nothing in the world will ever make you realize.
Actually I gained back a little hope.
But guess what?
You crushed it.
I don't even want to call you my friend anymore.
This time sincerely from my heart.
I tell you this.
I don't care for you or about you anymore.

I don't get it.
Are you still holding on to your past?
I know I am mean.
It was cruel what he did to you.
What do you want me to do?
Be nice and act as if nothing happen.
I can say that I am not you.
I can't be that forgiving person.
I tried being nice but I was taken advantage of.
I learnt that I can't survive if I am nice.
I am always wrong.
I am just that piece of crap.
No one can ever know how much pain I felt.
Can someone just be by my side and understand?

No one can.

dedication.

2009-11-25T23:58:00.003+08:00

I know I said I don't care anymore.
And I really don't.
I wrote this a year ago.
I shall dedicate this to you.
Maybe it will do you some good.

Life ain't fair.
People tend to get away with their sinful doings.
So what happens to those who did good?
Because of those that got away.
The pain the innocents suffered.
They took the blame.
They took it because they cared.
Their doings are hidden.
It's not realised till told.
They don't want a recognition for it.
But just a simple appreciation.

I didn't feel anything.
I guess it meant nothing to me anymore.
Be fair to us.

the next page.

2009-10-07T03:07:00.003+08:00

What can i say?
It's just different now.
It's the past.
I don't regret it.
But I wish I could change it.
For the better.
I am learning.
Learning the values of life.
Trying to be a better person.

flip the page for me, will you?

bully.

2009-09-07T02:58:00.003+08:00

Bully is so fucking addictive.
LOL. Kelvin is currently at my place now playing it.
Yesterday night, chinlee cheungken and leland was at my place playing it.
Well, Leland was more like stonning and texting.
And then, in the afternoon kelvin sueann was at my place playing too.
LOL. BULLY BULLY BULLY!
It's only on ps2.
I want it on psp.
Damn it.
I like being their wing man.
Cause I am cool.

addictive game.

asshole.

2009-08-21T00:25:00.003+08:00

you are damn fucked up.
first you asked me to keep it so i walked to him to pass it back to him since he was the one who was suppose to hand it out.
mahai you don't have to fucking shout at me right?
what's worse? other people who came in later than me.
you didn't say much but then when i was taking out my stuff.
you fucking shouted at me again.
pure stupidity.
fuck you.
you think you're a hell great of a person.
you don't pick on any other person accept for me.
cibai kia. i didn't do shit to you.
it's not like i fucking stuffed a branch up your ass right?
you just don't like me but you don't have to shout at me for no fucking reason.
if i did something wrong then you shout at me then it's different la.
what the fuck is your fucking problem?
nothing better to do.

idiotic mofo.

maybe the outside but not the inside.

2009-08-13T14:52:00.004+08:00

the outside is always a different story from the inside.
how can we tell when someone is truly smilling from their heart?
or when they are faking it?
we can't.
maybe they are not faking it but yet it's a momentary thing.
can't blame them, can you?
you wouldn't know how it feels like.
i guess sometimes we do really need to open up and take a look.
we got to see who really needs a friend.

i just want to smile.

don't walk away.

2009-07-30T01:01:00.002+08:00

I just using this blog as some thing i write to express.
Right.
The sentence doesn't seem very right.
Nothing seem right anymore nowadays.
My mood is not right.
My life is not right.
Studies are also not right.
Don't even talk about school.
I wanna get out badly but I know I am gonna miss it.
Mostly not the people but the things i did in school.
Well, life still goes on.
I need the encouragement and also the motivation to study.
I've got like a hundred days to go then it's hell.
I am gonna survive i guess.
Life is not going that well.
I need to make a chage.
Help me please?
Start by making me smile.

life sucks fullstop.

don't go please.

2009-07-20T17:28:00.003+08:00

Sigh.
I have got nothing to say.
You made your decision that day to leave.
Maybe it's a good chance for you to excel in life there.
I do hope you find something to do over there.
Do good my friend.
Shine for everyone to see.
For the past few months, i have gotten closer to you and you became my best friend.
Now you tell me you are leaving.
And you don't know how will you be gone.
We had fun together.
You helped me alot.
We also had our problems.
But it has all passed.
I am glad that i got to know you.
We all have five days left with you before you leave this friday.
Remember us alright?
I am gonna miss you, best friend.

shine for us.

i don't get it anymore.

2009-07-19T06:37:00.003+08:00

I, myself don't even know what is happening to us.
I have nothing against you or anything.
I don't think you can even trust the sentence above this.
I know it's my fault.
I know I screwed it up pretty badly.
I want to fix things but I don't know how.
We were alright but recently things are just going from bad to worse.
I mean we have our own point of view.
I think you have changed recently.
But maybe vise versa.
Whatever it is, I think it's time to sort things out.
We really got to meet up and talk about this shit.
You are still my best friend.
And I made a mistake.

screw life.

i should have cared.

2009-07-12T23:58:00.004+08:00

I am sorry.
I know I can't do much about it anymore.
Seeing you so helpless, it just hurts.
It feels like a stab in the heart but far worse.
Even if you take the sharpest knife and pierce it through my heart.
I don't think I will feel this much pain.
You can't even stand on your own feet.
You don't even eat anymore.
You are getting thinner and thinner.
I see you struggling for dear life.
I don't know if you are just getting old or you lost a friend.
I feel bad that you are in this condition.
I know it's my damn fault that you are like that now.
Every move you make, it's a challenge.
I can even see tears in your eyes.
I want to talk to you.
I should have cared.

I am sorry, liltle fella.

it's fucked.

2009-05-28T02:10:00.001+08:00

Just came back from chinleee's. Was at MingTien with kelvin, pam, alex, chinlee and ken. They were playing cho dai ti. I can never get how it works.
Anyway, everything is pretty fucked up right now so yea. Maxis is being an ASSHOLE by not letting me call wenyang because of error connection or it will just end the call by itself. I can't even call the hotline. fucker! Besides that, other things are being fucked up too. School teachers and blue shirt-ed people have nothing to do besides picking on us. That's why I am not going to school on friday cause I don't appreciatte you mofos. Go buy a condom and suck on it. The rest of the things is no big deal so i am gonna go get myself some jelly then bathe then sleep.
Goodnight people.

sigh. it's slowly fading. should I be happy about it?

don't change.

2009-05-26T21:10:00.005+08:00

Hellloo people! Been really lazy to update plus no time la so yea. :)

Anyway, last saturday I went to Curve then AsiaCafe with the usuals.

Left earlier than the rest to have a drink with nickC.

not tall enough meh? -.-

On the way to AsiaCafe.

LOL. kelefeh!

right. she camwhored so much. xD

he was trying to camwhore while driving. -.-

chinleeeee! ur boyfriend damn RETARDED wei.

omg. kelvin why so black wan?

at the traffic light. LOl. duckie!

My tuition teacher is here right now and i offered her some chong. You know that rice thingy wrapped with leaves and you eat it during dumpling festival. Anyway, she ate five of it. FIVE YOU KNOW! O_O fatfuck. I know you love my grandmother's cooking but don't have to eat so many you know. :)

look at her face. so happy promoting it. -.-

just leave me alone.

2009-05-23T14:30:00.002+08:00

It felt so real. I thought I flew back in time and I was there again. We were like a family but now it feels so different. I know we all live in different worlds and that was the one thing we had in common. I felt confident and the insecurity was gone. I felt like even if I fell, there will be always a pair of eyes for me look at when i woke up and telling me everything is alright. A pat on the back felt good after a bad run. A smile early in the morning felt amazing. A hit in the face felt even better. The courts are empty now. We had fun as well as tears. I shouldn't have been so attacted to it, now I can't let it go. It haunts me. It is tattooed on my mind. It is engraved in my heart. I miss it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It hurts too much.

those smiles.

sigh. it was just a dream.

what the mean? :D

2009-05-22T17:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was just fucked up la during exams. Exams also cannot sleep. I don't know how to do a few then wake me up and force me to do. Machouhai ah. Somemore make me sign. -.-

Sorry, some idiotic bitch woke me up and screwed up my mood. Well, that was in the morning la. The rest of the day was fine. :) Walked to Jelutong with the usual boonmun, amira, sueann and chinlee.

right. exam bags. -.-

Went for tuition at perfection then wanted to go OU but no transport. Shuhua was kind enough to ask her mum to fetch us there and also fetch dhilip home. Amira came along too. Three of us sitting behind was the best example of perpaduan kaum. Dhilip, amira and me. LOL. Thank you for the ride!

she didn't want let me take but I SMART so yea.

look at the mirror.

she finally gave in and posed. :D

Met up with chinlee, sueann and pamela. Girls shopping. -.-

at blay.

mother's wife. right right? LOL.

Sueann and chinlee left to tuition so I decided to walk to kelvin's. I damn ttly. Now my leg's muscle pulling I think. I don't know la. I just know it hurts thats all. Amira came after awhile then we went to perfection to see sueann and chinlee. Sueann! "Depends what you wear hor?" Haha. We went to Curve to pick ken up. While waiting, amira had to camwhore. -.- Then, kelvin also wanna camwhore. -.- Good job la. I am sincerely sorry about amira's face coming up. :D Not forgetting kelvin.

must take from up there wan right?

stupid kelvin. act cute.

not bad wert. so don't say it's fugly.

camwhore more camwhore more. -.-

again black dog.

pig look alike kelvin.

mahai. damn scary la. wanna eat amira meh? xD

sorry la. nothing to do. :)

Nasi lemak crave so it was that stall behind centrepoint. Chinlee was so fascinated by that stupid cat that rubbed against my leg. -.- stupid pussy seducing my leg.

you think your house meh? LOL. kelvin ah.

seeeeeee. it's the everyday couple.

damn ONS la.

At chinlee's now with sueann aka the rodent and of course chinlee aka the rat. Chinlee looks like some ah poh now with her hair wrapped with the towel. Haha. By the way, the rodent can fall asleep while playing my phone wan. -.- ciaoz miaoz lorr. Bathe then going to ken's for movies. weee! sueann joining us.

sigh. you changed.

it shattered everything.

2009-05-21T00:49:00.009+08:00

This is by far the most awesome exam period.
Because we exchange opinions on educational topics, don't we? :D
LOL. The people involved in these discussions are mainly the people whose pictures are below.

dumb brown? right. -.-

typical LALA daniel!

Imitating daniel but didn't anyone to know she is

ALICIA NICOLE SONG!

Haha. I said it.

just woke up. LOL.

she looked away on purpose.

she posed! O_O

Tired balls. Just came home from tuitions so yea. 4 hours plus wei.

Before tuition at 6, went yumcha with valerie and wenyang at choykee. Kelvin joined us after that then valerie and wenyang left so kelvin and I went blitz to dota. furion suren!

Wahlan, you can more fannoying wan. I don't mind wan. -.-

After tuition, went choykee to yumcha then one round dota. right.

i was bored la. :)

sigh. i wish for nothing more than that.

i can't see no shit.

2009-05-19T22:55:00.003+08:00

Woohoo! Yesterday, chinlee was such a kind soul that she deicided to satisfy me so we went to mcdeees. :D Picked her up then met up with ken. Kelvin had to go home so yea. Told you i see these people everyday.

aww. so sweet. right.

told you don't take my picture lorrr.

poser&retard.

omgggggawd. damn retarded wei.

Kelvin came. SEEEEE! I see them everyday. It's not a bad thing. I love them and of course the rest too. :) Sent chinlee back home then we went to play snooker at OWS. Ken owned cause he lucky la. Kelvin had to fight hard to beat me, right? haha. sucker!

i forced him to stand next to ken. LOL.

We had lunch at Sweet Delight! :) We didn't get to try the food the last time so we went today and tried. AWESOME YO! Went with sueann, amira and kelvin. Never knew that amira could write such a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong essay, right amira? xD

so cute right? just like an emoticon.

DAMN HARDWORKING LA AMIRA! right.

checking out the food so still can take picture.

after that don't want to entertain me already. -.-

sueann is happy when she sees food.
look at her man.

Dropped sueann to Terry then amira and i went to chinlee's to kacau her :)

Fuck wei. Something damn COOL happened wei.

I still can't believe it. O_O

Done with that so yea.

Anyway, I just wanna apologize to chinleee about today.

Sorry, I don't mean what i say wan la.

I want to see you everyday so TFB la! :)

And amira too!

Sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you.

I won't use my camera for nonsense kay? :)

But you know what i am gonna use it for la right?

sigh. i wish time could rewind and stay.

i just wanna chill.

2009-05-18T18:11:00.000+08:00

I really wanna go mcdeeeeees and chill.
LIM CHIN LEE ah!
Why can't you go?
VALERIE KOH ah!
Call you also cannot get through.
LIM SUE ANN ah!
Why la you lazy?
Pissed already but not the peace but the pissed. right amira? -.-
Nevermind. I go bathe :D

sigh. that day that smile. now it's just different.

i still have the spirit to.

2009-05-18T09:50:00.000+08:00

hellooooooo! :)

second post. weeee!

Friday night, went to subang to see roy's shop. SWEET DELIGHT!

Just behind taylor's bussiness shcool.
Go eat there wei.
After that dinner at AC with roy, chinlee, ken, pam, alex, amira and kelvin.

Amira ni kan zhe lai. I still remember what you DIDN'T do :(

Ken and alex can wear the same colour t-shirt wan -.-

Chinlee&thepenguinlookingken.

combhairqueenpam&alex.

a pregnant eye.

pohpoh&kungkung. right.

Saturday, went to Curve to meet Chinlee and Ken for awhile.
Back to Chinlee's then went back home to get ready for dinner.

i see you both everyday :)

"IT'S MY BABEH!"

Had dinner at Mont Kiara Plaza with my mum's side to celebrate her birthday.
It's like two days from the actual day so yea.
Some japanese restaurant.
After that, off to Ou.

it's my mum.

a rose & poem. sweet right? :D

SUEANN! this is the bugger who has a vip spot right in front on my mum's condo. BFH!

Foos lor.

I am done with this finally. It took me so bloooooooody long. fucker.

ciaoz miaoz lor :)

it's just for fun.

2009-05-16T09:09:00.000+08:00

Like i said this blog is just for fun.
It's just going to be another entertainment of mine when I am online :)
It's not going to be hardcore.

I am really very bored cause chinlee is sleeping and I have nothing to do.
Just waiting for time to pass to go out.
Everyone is busy with their own thing while i am rotting to death.

sigh. smile please?