the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

I know it's only going to be three months.
But it hurts so badly.
I miss my best friends.
I see them everyday.
I talk to them everyday.
Then all of a sudden everything just change.
I know I am suppose to be strong for them.
I know I am not suppose to cry anymore.
But the tears wouldn't stop flowing.
Everything around me reminds me of them.
Everything just links.
Even in my dreams, I see them.
I don't want to celebrate my birthday anymore.
I know I won't have fun.
My other best friends are still around.
They have been angels to be with me ever since valerie and chinlee have been gone.
But still I miss my them so much.
All I could ask for as a birthday present this year is to see them.


I know the pictures were about two years ago.
But it was all the memories we had and still remain in our hearts.
No one can have them and no one can take them away from us.

still the same.

You ain't gonna change?
Nothing in the world will ever make you realize.
Actually I gained back a little hope.
But guess what?
You crushed it.
I don't even want to call you my friend anymore.
This time sincerely from my heart.
I tell you this.
I don't care for you or about you anymore.





I don't get it.
Are you still holding on to your past?
I know I am mean.
It was cruel what he did to you.
What do you want me to do?
Be nice and act as if nothing happen.
I can say that I am not you.
I can't be that forgiving person.
I tried being nice but I was taken advantage of.
I learnt that I can't survive if I am nice.
I am always wrong.
I am just that piece of crap.
No one can ever know how much pain I felt.
Can someone just be by my side and understand?





No one can.

dedication.

I know I said I don't care anymore.
And I really don't.
I wrote this a year ago.
I shall dedicate this to you.
Maybe it will do you some good.



Life ain't fair.
People tend to get away with their sinful doings.
So what happens to those who did good?
Because of those that got away.
The pain the innocents suffered.
They took the blame.
They took it because they cared.
Their doings are hidden.
It's not realised till told.
They don't want a recognition for it.
But just a simple appreciation.



I didn't feel anything.
I guess it meant nothing to me anymore.
Be fair to us.

the next page.

What can i say?
It's just different now.
It's the past.
I don't regret it.
But I wish I could change it.
For the better.
I am learning.
Learning the values of life.
Trying to be a better person.




flip the page for me, will you?

bully.

Bully is so fucking addictive.
LOL. Kelvin is currently at my place now playing it.
Yesterday night, chinlee cheungken and leland was at my place playing it.
Well, Leland was more like stonning and texting.
And then, in the afternoon kelvin sueann was at my place playing too.
LOL. BULLY BULLY BULLY!
It's only on ps2.
I want it on psp.
Damn it.
I like being their wing man.
Cause I am cool.





addictive game.

asshole.

you are damn fucked up.
first you asked me to keep it so i walked to him to pass it back to him since he was the one who was suppose to hand it out.
mahai you don't have to fucking shout at me right?
what's worse? other people who came in later than me.
you didn't say much but then when i was taking out my stuff.
you fucking shouted at me again.
pure stupidity.
fuck you.
you think you're a hell great of a person.
you don't pick on any other person accept for me.
cibai kia. i didn't do shit to you.
it's not like i fucking stuffed a branch up your ass right?
you just don't like me but you don't have to shout at me for no fucking reason.
if i did something wrong then you shout at me then it's different la.
what the fuck is your fucking problem?
nothing better to do.



idiotic mofo.

maybe the outside but not the inside.

the outside is always a different story from the inside.
how can we tell when someone is truly smilling from their heart?
or when they are faking it?
we can't.
maybe they are not faking it but yet it's a momentary thing.
can't blame them, can you?
you wouldn't know how it feels like.
i guess sometimes we do really need to open up and take a look.
we got to see who really needs a friend.







i just want to smile.